


Very (Not) Taken

by CatrinaSL



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, F/M, Fake Marriage, Kissing, Past Jane Foster/Thor, SHIP DARCY WITH ALL THE THINGS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 06:43:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6970414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatrinaSL/pseuds/CatrinaSL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane starts making stuff up to get rid of her ex, but can Darcy sell the story?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Very (Not) Taken

**Author's Note:**

> First Meeting!AU: Darcy wasn't there for the whole 'first contact (in a thousand years) with Asgard' situation, and only caught up with Jane and Erik later.

Darcy never thought to encounter Angry!Drunk Jane at the local Applebees. Erik had taken her there with the thought of discussing something they were stuck on, but apparently they couldn't get it unstuck, because by the time Darcy arrived, Erik was stumbling around threatening fisticuffs to innocent passers by, and there was Angry!Drunk Jane, sitting there with a martini, glaring at everyone, innocent or not.

Thankfully, a really attractive blond guy had already volunteered to take Erik out to the van, so she applied herself to Jane.

"Let's go."

"Let me finish this; it's terrible, but it was expensive," Jane replied, shooting a look of blame at the apparently inadequate bartender.

"Do you require any more assistance?" asked the guy who had practically carried Erik out.

"Nope; thanks, go away," Jane told him.

"Jane, I was merely offering—" he began.

"Well, thanks for that, but I'm married," Jane lied. "So you have no chance with me anymore. You're very helpful even though you're very late." 

_ And very cut, _ Darcy observed, regretfully turning her eyes away from him to look at Jane, wondering where she was going to go with this ‘married’ thing.

"But I am very taken," Jane continued. " _ Extremely _ married." She swiveled on the barstool and grasped Darcy's arm, pulling her in between them. 

"This is my wife," Jane insisted. "And I love her very much. Tell him!"

Tall, Blond, and Studly ran his eyes over Darcy. "Is that so?" he asked Jane. "I had not realized that Midgardian culture accepted such unions."

Darcy opened her mouth to contribute to the conversation in some way: apologize, back Jane up, something, but he was very... attractive.

"Yup, earth culture has changed since you were here last," Jane told him. "My beautiful wife and I are very very happy together, so you should probably just go away forever again."

Darcy raised her eyebrow. She had no idea what was happening, and all she really wanted was to get Jane out of there, but when he looked at her, it was like she couldn't move.

"Your beloved seems very uncomfortable," he observed. "Shall we test your claim?"

"Go ahead," Jane shot back. "I'm not scared of you."

Darcy found herself being kissed.

By Jane’s ex.

It was pretty much the best thing ever.

When he stepped back, he asked her, "Are you really married?"

Darcy was trying to catch her breath, but she replied, "If it'll make you kiss me again, then, yes, absolutely."

**Author's Note:**

> "Tall, Blond, and Studly" is a reference to [Much Ado About Muffins](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6893329).
> 
> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/145102565703/very-not-taken)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


End file.
